Is there a sign of Dementia in me?
For the past few years ago, I've been forced to resign from my first job company after receiving countless accounts of my mistakes during my work. I admitted I did my best, but unable to keep myself to their expectation. Nonetheless, I had to reflect and decided to resign on their terms. With a whole lot of debts need to chase, I need to find another job.
Somehow, I did stop and wonder how I get so careless during my time in days of work. Sure I did go a lot of clinics after receiving different symptoms like Middle Ear Infection and etc... But one thing I can shake my feelings off is how forgetful I am. I know that I always being the forgetful one in the team, but every assignment given I try to deliver them, some of my previous team ignores my notes, and I can't blame them as they are equally busy as I am. Even the notice from other departments gives their terms on how to proceed with the SOP, I keep forgetting this and that.
Not to mention, I once forgot their name in one of the days by accident. I keep telling myself, that I might have been stress over weeks with countless customers barge into our phone calls asking for services.
Until this present days... I keep forgetting something precious throughout time. I've noticed I forgot about my aunt's name, and then my cousin's name... If I want to find material for my next lecture, I forgot the topic in a short period. I keep asking myself, "What's going on to me? Am I started losing my marbles?"
With fear in the presence in my heart, I prayed to Allah to search and ask for His guidance so I can rebuild myself and continue my day without any fear.
One day, I was surfing the internet again, seeking for materials for my class until I stumbled upon an article about dementia. A second time, as I watched a Korean Variety show called "The Great Escape Season 1", one of the episodes is using a theme of Nuclear bunk with a survivor suffering dementia inside. I asked myself, "Is this one of His signs try to show me?"
And so, I try to dig deeper into a rabbit hole and found that most of the symptoms I'm having were almost relatable to myself. These are the early 10 symptoms that I found in me:
Somehow, I did stop and wonder how I get so careless during my time in days of work. Sure I did go a lot of clinics after receiving different symptoms like Middle Ear Infection and etc... But one thing I can shake my feelings off is how forgetful I am. I know that I always being the forgetful one in the team, but every assignment given I try to deliver them, some of my previous team ignores my notes, and I can't blame them as they are equally busy as I am. Even the notice from other departments gives their terms on how to proceed with the SOP, I keep forgetting this and that.
Not to mention, I once forgot their name in one of the days by accident. I keep telling myself, that I might have been stress over weeks with countless customers barge into our phone calls asking for services.
Until this present days... I keep forgetting something precious throughout time. I've noticed I forgot about my aunt's name, and then my cousin's name... If I want to find material for my next lecture, I forgot the topic in a short period. I keep asking myself, "What's going on to me? Am I started losing my marbles?"
With fear in the presence in my heart, I prayed to Allah to search and ask for His guidance so I can rebuild myself and continue my day without any fear.
One day, I was surfing the internet again, seeking for materials for my class until I stumbled upon an article about dementia. A second time, as I watched a Korean Variety show called "The Great Escape Season 1", one of the episodes is using a theme of Nuclear bunk with a survivor suffering dementia inside. I asked myself, "Is this one of His signs try to show me?"
And so, I try to dig deeper into a rabbit hole and found that most of the symptoms I'm having were almost relatable to myself. These are the early 10 symptoms that I found in me:
- Subtle Short-term Memory change (Happens all the time causing me a lot of trouble)
- Difficult finding the right words even as basic as keys and pens... (I mean like, seriously what?)
- Changes in Mood. (Yeah, at one time I am passionate during class, and then the next thing I'm an emo.)
- Apathy (Looks listless as I try to do my favorite hobby. Drawing and listening to music...)
- Difficulty completing normal tasks (I want to report my boss about one of the machine is broken down and suddenly, I forgot what I'm trying to deliver this message to him)
- Confusion (In break time, I was zoned out and forgetting my next class is about to begin)
- Difficulty following the storyline. (I had to ask my colleague so many times to repeat. Sorry, guys)
- Failing a sense of direction. (Even I already drive on the same road many times, I keep using Waze or Google Maps on the same directions)
- Being repetitive. (With my students when explaining the topic and they stop me and ask "Why I keep repeating the same topic?")
- Struggling to adapt to the change. (After I've resigned, I don't know how to coup myself with this change including my budget spending problem.)
These lists can be found from this website, https://www.healthline.com/health/dementia/early-warning-signs#when-to-see-a-doctor.
or this one, https://www.dementia.org/symptoms
or this one, https://www.dementia.org/symptoms
I really want to go see a doctor, but I don't know where to start...
Hopefully, these are just a sign of my fatigue, but It also important to prepare for the worst to come.
That's all for today, and I'll try to log in on time to share some stories.
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